_____Yeah buddy!_____

’m back on the road again this month heading to see my home slice Knacki Deuser and be part the Nightwash Comedy Asyl show he's hosting in Hamburg.

So please place your orders now for any fish you would like me to bring you.
I’m there the 23rd, 24th and 15th of June, so if you’re female and have 8 friends, give me a shout, because I have a hotel room we could trash.

 

The show also features Serhat Dogan, Meltem Kaptan, and Luke Mockridge. Nightwash

Hope to see you.
Love David

 

Quatsch Comedy Club FINALS! & "Pimp my Ghetto!2010"

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Big up to Quatsch Comedy Club once again. Last Friday I had the chance to advance for the third time and make it into the finals of the “Talent thingy ma doo.”

I’m not into competition that much, especially when I, as a stand up comedian have to go against musicians, jugglers, Improve guys, actors, poets, theater geeks, clowns and all the other strange fill in the blank types in this comedy scene, but hey, in the end, I’m in the finals, and I’d say that’s not to bad.

So in general, I like competition more if I win. See you in April mother fuckers.

Then Sunday I was invited back to the sold out Admiralspalast to help “Pimp” a Neukölln “ghetto.” It was quite an honor to be invited, and feeling the slightest buzz from 1700 people is something like jerking off in an airplane bathroom. (exciting!)

The hard part is trying to rock the crowd like the host with the most Kurt Krömer.

Wow. He’s the man. Watching him is great, because he’s got it on lock.

Performing for his crowd is like a band opening up for The Beatsteaks in Berlin and just being like, “Oh, hello, we’re the opening band…..”

I got some laughs, so I’m happy, but there’s a lot of work to be done.

Damn, I hate work.

 

Night Wash Video!

 

 

Eins Live

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So once again I was blessed with a 6 hour drive across Germany to see the lovely Cologne and more of the Autobahn. This time to be a guest on The Jan Böhmermann Show on Eins Live!!! Other than being heard by 1 and a half million people, and getting treated like a royal prince by everyone from the boss, to the bosses boss and even trying on Bianca's super hot glasses, it was regular day in the office.

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You know. Jokes. Free sodas. More Jokes. More sodas.The show is fantastic. Jan was insanely cool and I'm sure we'll get together again soon because he really wanted to kiss me on air but I held off in the hopes that he'll invite me back. Wink wink Jan. Shout out to Claudia at the front desk of Eins Live. Thanks for the pen!

1Live Video!

 

NIGHT WASH!

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Wow. Night Wash. Wow. What can I say? You are the
coolest thing I’ve seen in Germany yet. You do it right. Not
a set to look like a laundry mat. Not a closed up old laundry mat. Not a comedy club, called the laundry mat. Not a guy named Matt, with the nickname Laundry. No my friends,
your laundry mat, just like yourselves, are the real deal.

The woman doing her laundry in the midst of 150 comedy fans was proof of that.

Thanks so much to Knacki and the rest of the crew at Night Wash for giving me a chance to do my thing. I will honestly say that if I never get invited back to Night Wash ever again
I will cry like a 10 year old who just had his bike stolen.

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NIGHTWASH ON MONDAY!

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OH NO! NO NO NO!

What a sad day. I've been invited to THE NIGHT WASH this Monday!

I know, I should be excited, but I JUST did my laundry TODAY. FUCK!

What the hell am I supposed to do Monday with a bag full of clean clothes? If you're in Koln, come through and bring some mud!

 

THANK YOU QUATSCH COMEDY CLUB!

quatsch

Being an english speaking comedian in Germany is something out of a fairytale.

I never tried to think about it long enough to care, but if I did, I would most likely say the exact same thing every single comedy club owner and or promoter says when they hear about me: "In english? (pause) In Germany? (pause) But, IN ENGLISH?"

Yes friends, I do like to swim upstream, against the grain. It is what it is. I like schlager music, and languages with dots over letters, so here I am in Germany.

Luckily, there's some that are willing to take a chance, and by that I mean AUDIENCE MEMBERS as well as comedy club owners.

I'd like to take this time to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to the QUATSCH COMEDY CLUB for letting me be myself again. They gave me the chance at the "talent contest" and the crowd liked me enough to vote me a winner, and now I'll be back OCT 1st to try again.

When people ask me "will english work in Germany." I always say the same thing.

"I'm not sure english will work, but funny might."

Thanks for the support.

 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN!

davidschild

YES! Finally. I have some dates around Germany.
Good news.
The bad news is, it's not dinner with a beautiful model in every city.

SHIT!

The good news is, it's stand up comedy, which next to sex with models is my second favorite thing!

Check out the dates and come meet me. (if you're a model of course.)

 

He made a sign!

Crazy. My very second show ever. I mean EVER, this guy is sitting there in the front row, with a drawing of me, looking very close to the sexual beast I actually am. The sign was hand drawn and stapled cleanly to a stick, and there he was. sitting in the front row, blocking the view of everyone, smiling, and holding his home made sign, with my beautiful face on it, and the slogan, „Do my homework!“ (The slogan was from a joke I told in my very first show ever.) I had to say something! This ist he audio from the show, and a small comic strip I drew to tell the story properly.

 

Tresor

Of course when I’m not doing stand up comedy, I’m pursuing a healthy career as a semi professional act-or. I’m still in my act-or baby pants, so I do plenty of commercials. This on eis for a very good and very addictive cereal from the Tresor Club, Berlin Germany.

I got very high making this.

 

Murder Mate

Official commercial for the „winter edition“ of the greatest drink on the planet,
CLUB MATE! MATE BITCH!

 

On the red carpet.

If you watch closely, you’ll notice absolutly no flashes going off. Walking the red carpet with no fame is like going into a strip club with no money. SURE. It’s fun for about three seconds, then you realize, wait, I don’t think I’ll be getting much out of this as the giant Russian bouncer kicks your ass out.

PS. fuck you asshole journalists who wouldn’t even waste a kilobyte to make me feel even the slightest bit famous. In a digital world, there’s nothing worse than that.

 

Pimp My Ghetto.

 

This ist he sound check form y fifteen minutes of fame. I did a set at Kurt Krömer’s „Pimp My Ghetto“ in the SOLD OUT 1700 seat Admirals Palast. WOW. How did it go? Why is there only a video of the sound check. It went well. I guess. I wanted also to see the video, but the fuckin camera monkey was eating a sausage while I performed.

I hope he got poopy desease.